


to fight is to lose the battle

by Shamelessly_Radiant



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur: bisexual disaster, Because these boys give me all the feels, Character Study, F/M, Gen, Internalised Homophobia, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, apparently i'm going to write a drabble for every episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-22 21:54:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21309220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shamelessly_Radiant/pseuds/Shamelessly_Radiant
Summary: If he’s to take Gwen’s words to heart, then that means treating Merlin with respect. With cordialness, and friendliness. Merlin, who is stumbling slightly under his weight as he is leading him back to the tents, Merlin, who does everything for him.But he cannot.Because to lower his guard against Merlin would be dangerous. If kissing a servant girl his father would never understand, kissing a servant boy... would be unthinkable.A tiny attempt at character study in the form of a drabble.
Relationships: Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 105





	to fight is to lose the battle

**Author's Note:**

> Because Arthur goes on to treat Gwen cordially and with respect, and goes on to order Merlin to fetch his mattress and strap it to his back, and if men treat women with respect just because they're pretty, it is not respect at all.

Arthur kisses Guinevere because she is standing there, and looking pretty, and is one of the only persons to speak her mind to him—well, she… and Merlin.

Merlin, his servant. Merlin, who he just yesterday sent to fetch dinner from the palaces, and then later that same evening a mattress. Who he has treated worse than dirt lately—

If he’s to take Gwen’s words to heart, then that means treating Merlin with respect. With cordialness, and friendliness. Merlin, who is stumbling slightly under his weight as he is leading him back to the tents, Merlin, who does everything for him.

But he cannot.

Because to lower his guard against Merlin would be unthinkable. If kissing a servant girl his father would never understand, kissing a servant _boy _would be sentencing Merlin to an early grave, sending him to the pyre for accusations against witchcraft and sorcery. Because the love between two men is unnatural, unacceptable and wrong. Because the love between a man and a woman is holy.

Arthur must choose his battles, even against himself.

Most of all, Arthur is afraid that if he ever were to kiss Merlin— he’d never be able to stop.


End file.
